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I did start a diary for Caleb awhile back and this is some of the things I put down….

CALEB’S DAILY DIARY

January 13th, 2004

Dear Eileen,

As I promised, what follows is a summary of an occurrence I had with Caleb which I experienced when you were down here visiting me this past week: As we know Caleb studiously avoids eye contact with or response to others. This appears to be almost a deliberate pattern of excluding others. I mean by that he does not seem to simply be unaware of others, it appears to me that he consciously [if I can use that term] refuses to communicate or acknowledge the presence of others and will not look at you when you speak to him or otherwise admit recognizing that he is being spoken to or looked at. [His behavior to you is not at all like that -- he does look you in the eye and make known to you what he wants in his own way] It was that behavior which led me last summer to speculate to you that perhaps he was deaf.

I tried while he was down here to break through this barrier by playing gently with him, tickling him and in other ways attempting to see if I could get him to interchange with me. I was not successful in this, for the most part, although once or twice i did get him to laugh or smile when I would poke him in the stomach and laugh. However, there was one singular exception to this pattern which I experienced and which I think may be of sufficient significance that it is worth reporting: When you and the family returned to our residence after a short trip in the car, Caleb was standing at the open back door of the car, unable to get down from the high door sill by himself. His gaze, as usual, was deliberately looking by me without looking at me.

I held out my hand to him in an offer to steady him as he stepped from the car to the ground. And, then, he looked directly at me and smiled and reached out and took my hand as he exited the car.

It may be that this has less significance than I asign to it, but it seemed to me at the time to be a startling event and breakthrough of his withdrawal behavior. Perhaps it indicates that we can reach through that barrier if we try to do so by various means. love

Your Father

April 15th, 2004

I got to tell you something so special that happened tonight [April 14th, 2004] ....Olivia was giving Caleb kisses and he doesn't like kisses usually so after she gave him some loving and some kissing he takes his little hands and holds my cheeks and smacks a big kiss on my lips....I about melted....and he was looking straight at me while doing it too.

April 14th, 2004

Dear Eileen,

That kiss from Caleb was a miracle in happening. It is so important, Eileen. I recommend that you start right now keeping a daily diary about everything that Caleb does so you won't forget these occurences when you meet with doctors and counselors.

It also would seem to indicate that what Olivia was doing in confronting Caleb and making him interect with her may be an important approach to bringing him out of his private world. As you have learned much more can be accomplished with autistic children in their early years --- after their behavior is fixed it is almost impossible to bring them out of the shell they retreat into. I'm really greatly encouraged by this news. Tell Olivia I think she's tops! love

Dad

April 20th, 2004

While Brenda was out this morning we were sitting at the dinning room table with our picture of our banana and the real banana and Caleb is suppose to hand the picture to Brenda and then Brenda is suppose to say OH YOU WANT A BANANA? And give him a banana. Well he picked up the picture of the banana and looked at it and handed it to Brenda and looked at Brenda while handing her the picture….awesome job I say to this.

April 21st, 2004

Caleb brought me his sipper cup empty and wanted more to drink so I told him you have to say more…and with some help he said it. While he was at playgroup today Brenda said that he was getting kind of fussy and she held out her hand and he took it and they went to have something to eat and then he got fussy and she held out both hands and Caleb looked at her and went to Brenda so she could pick him up and then he put his head down on her shoulder.

April 24th, 2004

Well today Caleb signed the word “more” and he also took Claire’s finger and led her to the family room door and wanted to go inside the family room. So Claire opened the door and Caleb went in. And then later that night Caleb started to climb his crib and so I put him in bed and he just layed in there and I changed his diapers and put him to bed…and he fell asleep. Caleb will bring me his coat to go outside all the time and stand by the door. He is a smart little boy.

May 2nd, 2004

Caleb seems to be making more eye contact more and more with people. Joe & I have noticed it a lot more now than when Brenda [his teacher] first started coming out and then when Julie [the play project therapist] came out the first time on April 22nd, 2004.…Caleb became alive with laughter and full of FUN! I have never seen a side of him like I did when Julie was here. I do believe that the play project is going to work out just fine with Caleb. I think we are pulling Caleb out of his shell his own little world.

July 3rd, 2004

Today was a funny day for Caleb….he is just a real pistol at times. He has found out how things go down the stairs if you throw them through the spindles and he watches as the toys hit each stairs and goes back for more. Well today he had a bucket that he wanted to throw down the stairs he tried to put it through the spindles in the railing and it didn’t work….so then he went to the gate and tried to put the bucket through the spindles there and it didn’t work….so OF COURSE he opens the gate and tosses the bucket down the stairs…. I laughed and so did Caleb. Then he kept going back and getting more toys and tossing them down the stairs.

July 5th, 2004

Caleb seems to do many funny things in that he loves to keep things “the same” if the door’s are all open in the hallway he goes and shut’s the door’s. When he does this it doesn’t matter if Joseph is in his bedroom or not….for Caleb “the door get’s shut”…and Joseph then let’s out a squeal….and then I go and open the door and then the door get’s shut again by Caleb and on and on it goes…and then sometimes Caleb will take off running down the hall just laughing real hard while Joseph goes after him. I think Caleb likes this sort of fun with his brother. Caleb continues to sob off and on and I really feel bad when he does this….so I take him in his bedroom and just rock him and talk to him…or I take him where there is no one else and he settle’s down right away.

August 13, 2004

I found this on a website and thought it was very interesting…

IMAGINE

 

Imagine….

      If you were unable to

            Communicate

 

Imagine….

    If you were in

          Pain

              But couldn’t tell anyone.

 

Imagine….

   If you felt

      Distracted

       Frustrated

        Obsessed, and

         Frightened,

     But you didn’t know why.

 

Imagine….

     Feeling this way all day,

           Every day.

 

Imagine….

    Trying to live with an

       Austism

            Spectrum

                    Disorder.

August 14, 2004

Here is some pictures of Caleb…he had been outside playing in the backyard….eating dirt of course….we thought his face was so so cute.

Friday Sept. 10th, 2004

When I picked up Caleb at 2:00 on Thursday I saw him in the Gross Motor Room and he was swinging on the big swing and loved it a lot. He didn’t want to leave the swing. And when I got him off the swing he yelled with joy. And when his teacher got down on her knee’s to say good-bye to Caleb he gave her a big hug. I about melted as I saw this. He would go up to the teacher on Wed. and Thurs. and want to be picked up by her so she picked him up and he would lay his head down on her shoulder and suck his thumb. Now I know he will really love it in Robin’s classroom.

Friday Nov. 12, 2004

Tonight Caleb was interacting with Joe and giving him his hat and Joe took the hat and put it on his head and then went to get a hat for Caleb and put it on Caleb’s head and you should of seen Caleb just walk around with a big grin on his face he was in 7th heaven just so happy. And he continued to wear the hat all night long. I even went into the bathroom and showed Caleb himself in the mirror and he saw himself with the hat and just smiled and took it off and put it back on.

Here is something that Caleb's teacher has written to me since school has started and thought I would pass it on to you. On

9/20/04....Robin [Caleb's teacher] said this....We had a good time swimming. Caleb started off crying when we first got in the water but quickly got use to it. It was fun.

9/28/04....Caleb loved being outside today....laughing....going on the slide and running up and down the hill on the playground.

1/5/05....Caleb had a great afternoon. He was very "on" . He imitated during our song "more we get together" putting his hands to his face for the word happier. He did really well at Center time. He was stringing a mitten with Fran [an aide] and he was very focused and did much of it by himself. He glued and decorated a mitten by himself also. That is it for the update on Caleb. I noticed that when he first went back to school on Jan. 3rd that when he came home he just wanted me to hold him all the time. I think it is getting back into the routine of school and him being off on vacation that he is doing this. But I don't mind at all.

March 1st, 2005

A really good friend of mine [Dawn] posted something on the internet and this is how we feel about our Autisic kids:

Play With Me

I tried to teach my child with books;
He gave me only puzzled looks;
I tried to teach my child with words;
They passed him by, oft unheard.
Despairingly I turned aside;
"How shall I teach this child!" I cried
Into my hand he put the key;
"Come," he said, "play with me."

Jan. 17, 2006

So this new doctor said the other day was watching Caleb and was standing in the doorway where Caleb wanted to shut the door and he wouldn’t move so Caleb tried to push him out of the way and still he wouldn’t move so Caleb finally looked at him eye to eye and then took his hand and pulled him in like saying Come let’s play…..and when I heard this I said WOW this is just awesome. So I have to be sure to tell my Dad this and also tell Peggy this they will be so pleased.

That is it for the Diary for Caleb.

We did sign Caleb up with a program called “The Play Project” and it was/is a wonderful program for children especially kids with Autism because the parent or the therapist basically gets right down on the floor and plays with the child and interacts with the child so he will look at you and interact with you as a parent or therapist. You follow the childs lead whatever the child wants to do you do with him.

Now we are no longer in the Play Project because the expense is just too much for us to handle right now. We are in a program called ABA which is something like the Play Project but not really. ABA stands for Applied Behavioral Analysis. So far the program is going okay for us. We want Caleb to start talking and he is beginning to talk a bit.

Looking back just a bit over Caleb’s and Joseph’s life I think that maybe I should of noticed something in the way they acted or the way the boys both were in their lacking of milestones in their life. I couldn’t compare them to the girls because I knew that boys were different than girls…and all I had were girls before Joseph and Caleb. And I couldn’t compare Caleb to Joseph because Joseph had Down Syndrome and other problems. So I just told myself that the boys were unique and special in their own ways.

2008